new found friend.

today, i made a new friend.
a friend from the other side of the world.
he's from the UK. and his name is mikey, i think (!).
and so, we're still chatting. god knows what we're chatting about.
haha.
no subject at all.
pretty much random.
and he called me sexy (!).
*blush*
haha.
and so, i've gotta get back to him now.
don't wanna keep him waiting now, don't we?

for now.

before i met you i was positively sure that i would wanna go home. and then came this figure who at first i thought were somebody else's father. a few steps away, me and you. just a few steps away before i actually realised that you're somebody else's son. then i noticed your lean muscles and then your face... i just couldn't stop looking at you, for every damn second. you were a social butterfly among my uncles. and yet i'm there looking at you, at your grace on how you were able to talk to everyone. i was waiting, waiting for you to talk to me. waiting for you to be more than a social butterfly. i hid inside my tent only to get a glimpse at you with your sweats and wet hair. oh! with every chance i had i would grab it and steal a peek at you. for one reason i wouldn't want to go is you. despite the dreaming now i am home. only to wonder about you.

what is your name?
what is your age?
who are you that took my breath away?
who are you?

for all the hours we were merely feets away from each other, never did we exchanged a single word. on the contrary i knew you were looking at me. we smiled not directly, but to each other. and now i wished that i am there. though feets away from you in muted likeness of each other, at least i'm there to be with you.

but reality kicks in now. and i'm at home on my comfy own bed, wishing that i would not have gone home. and now my only hope is the power of the worldwide net, that would maybe bring us together.

as for now i shall only admire you from far, though i am not convinced that i would see you again. i shall only hope, and wish. for little things to happen.

and as for now i have a boyfriend whom i dearly love. and so you would only be my eye-candy who would play with my mind.

for now.

mr england,

spending time with my gurls were a hell load of fun!
it beats going out with your guys,
and it definately beats sitting at home all day long.

on 24th January 2009, my gurls and i went for a beach getaway at Sentosa Island.
and it was AWESOME! superb-ly AWESOME!
and i couldnt ask for a better group of girls, cos mine is WICKED.

Sentosa Island is a long story.
so i definately would not bore you with this.

but gurls, you and i know of what happened.
so lets keep it to ourselves.

its mysterious that way.

my [advanced] 18th wishlist!

here goes my birthday wishlist (may change in the coming months/days) :

1. i really want baileys and coke!
2. i want my loved ones with me for my birthday!
3. i want an external hard drive baby.
4. DRESSES!!!
5. HEELS!!
6. M.A.C make up kit honeys.
7. i want wonderful pictures to be taken (its a must!)

ouhk. so this is it for now. anything additional will be posted later.

remember kay you all. 7th april!

big cat.

you laughed when i cried.
you beat me out of having fun.
you cook while i study.
and you go to work while i'm sleeping.

these are the traits of my boyfriend.

he bullies me till i cry.
he calls me words which others might find it disheartening.
he makes me worried almost everytime he's on off.
he chats with other girls infront of me.

you might think i am crazy to be with this guy. but let me tell you this.

he was there when nobody would care, and he always will.
he's the only one who is successful enough to bully me till i cry.
he helps me out in which ever way he can.

and most important of all is that he love me with all his heart.

for that i shall love him for as long as i can.

because i know that whatever he is doing to me right now, he is just a big cat playing with me.

she pisses me off!

in my room, she is.
very irritating.
fucking mad at her.
expects me to exchange my OWN laptop,
with my OLD Nokia MusicExpress phone.

bullshit.
i'd take the laptop, thank you.
anyway, this beloved lappie of mine
is NOT bought by you.

its a present from your mother to ME.
ha ha.
there - i'm laughing at'cha.

stupid negotiation.

*shakes head*

[sidetrack] alot!

[sidetrack]

i should be studying for my housekeeping test. but i'm too full of information right now (which i most probably will forget about tomorrow). but anyway, as i was studying, i got a bit sidetracked from my original purpose. oh. btw, the inaugration is on right now and i'm listening to it. crap me. haha. so so anyway, meet my newest 'boyfriends'. i know. i'm super dreaming right now. haha. a single and married man here.

from left to right:

Pasha (ungu band), edward cullen (twilight), oncy (ungu band), rizki (the titans)

okay. so, i cant say that they are my boyfriend(s). but what the hell. to me they are good looking, handsome and hot. haha. i'm so dreaming right now. but hey, i will only love one person and one person only. and that is, norzaidi.

and you i love.

advanced.

as an advance post to my photoshoot in school just now, this entry is to tell you people out there that i'm fuckingly in love - with myself. and my new curls. not permanent though. but still. gawd. i can go on about myself forever - i know. i'm just so full of myself right now. hahs. don't mind me.

and there i was - constantly falling in love with myself by the second. haha. oh. and to add to my happiness, gawd. my photoshoot was like a model! with my curls and smile. hehe. i was totally loving myself today! *smiling REALLY widely*

and so on top of that, i met dear beloved today. who apparently bought me a 2-in-1 hair curler/straightener for our 11th month! seriously. i'm supper dupper happy today. like smiling widely i-don't-care-about-the-world happy!

lazy bumb.

i want a fat orange cat.
who will wake me up every morning at 6 am.
only because he needs feeding, not because i need to get my job done.

so will you get one for me?

pretty please...

today is SUNDAY.

today.
omg.
is such a boring day.
tomorrow school and i'm fucking broke!
like serious shit mans.
i wonder where my other thirds are right now.
missed them so much!
and so today was pretty much a normal sunday.
i karaoked at home.
all alone.
daddy's sleeping and mummy's reading the paper.

shits.

bored. bored. bored. as hell!

ouh crap.

it doesn't help - at all!

it doesn't help at all.
it doesnt help at all that everytime i call you today you didnt answer.

it doesnt help at all
that everytime i call you its malaysia's ringing tone.

it doesn't help at all
that once i called you its out of coverage.

it doesn't help at all
that the following times i called you the operator would answer.

it doesn't help at all, norzaidi.

what are you trying to do?

i don't want to think negative - but you made me.

i'm sorry.

i am not.

only when i know where you are and what you're doing,
or who you're with and are you safe.
will i be feeling alright.

but for now i am feeling rather uptight.
cos i don't know where you are.
and i dunno if you're okay.

because you didnt answer my calls
or reply my texts.

but till then i'm not feeling happy.

nabeh.

ku dgr ader family problem sampai ke jb per.
da gitu tak tau nak bilang.
cb.

kalau aku, tau kau marah.
mana ada fair siol mcm gini.
kalau aku tak tanyer mana kau ada pikir nak bilang aku.

initiative la buts.
seeyal.
sakit hati kau buat aku mcm gini.

da net skrg buat problem.
sial ah.
today is seriously not my day.

and fyi, ini la satu2 nyer post aku yg dalam bahasa MELAYU!
oleh kerana aku tgh marah skrg.

NABEH!

my love.

you took my hand and held it tight,
you scold me once but only because you cared;
you pushed me away and then you pull me in,
you lookid me in the eyes and smiled a thousand words.

as your face comes closer my eyes starts to close,
slowly by the second your llips met mine;
senses explodes like fireworks,
full of colour, taste and emotions.

reality was way back in my head,
and we're in a world of our own;
tongues twisted and body entertwined,
for now i know how much you love me.

you took away the pain of life,
and replaced it with love and care;
you made me forget about pain and hardships,
and instil love and happiness.

you are my angel, you are my saviour.

YOU ARE MY LOVE.


p.s: i am coughing non stop!

confused.

i hate difficulties tryna sign in to my blogger account.
lols.

check this out : http://xterminated.blogspot.com

hahas. caught in surprise.

who the hell was that?!

shits. projects to do.

oh, maybe?

after the harsh words you gave me.

oh, maybe?

maybe i would give it a chance.

thank you darling.

school dropout.

is it that bad?

i just want to do what i like doing.

and not suffer for the next one year.

can?

Now What?

i only have one thing in mind.
and facing it everyday isn't helping.
it makes me cry and it makes my head go round in circles.

should i or should i not?
that is the question.

if yes, i could work hard.
i could save up all the money and use it for that sole purpose.

if no, then i guess...
i guess i would suffer doing what i don't enjoy doing.

i guess it was a mistake.
a grave mistake clearly made by me.

i should have.
should have accepted my mom's invitation.

so now, what should i do?
if you're clever enough, you should know what i am talking about.

Would You Marry Me, Please?

i have one question fro your, dear beloved.

Would You Marry Me?

and be with me for the rest of my life.

i love you, dear one.

i just don't know how to express it.

forgive me.

Today.

today my day is fucking boring.
i am right now fucking bored.

they are singing and behaving like monkeys!

how i managed - don't ask.

backache took some pills and fell asleep.

miss dear beloved so very much.
even though i just met him yesterday.

i'm getting sick.
sneezed like nobody's business.
tons of used tissues beside me.

ouhkk. that was just a figure of speech.

drive - bersama bintang.

that's what they are listening and screaming to.

pain in the ass, them.

irritating bunch them.

still, they are MY younger siblings who always gets on to my nerves.

ouhkk. i must stink now.
haven't taken my evening shower.
soooo lazzayy.

god, help me.

i really feel like quitting school right now.
they are really wasting my time, you know.

*sigh*

i really think i am not going to make it for my housekeeping practical.

THE BEDS ARE FUCKING HEAVY!
ITS FULL OF DUST!

i'm super allergic to dust.
i'll sneeze like the world is mine.
i'm so gonna give up.
my back is gonna hurt.

i went to the doctor and its still not doing me any good.

no excuse just some pills.

idiots.

doctors only wants money.
shit ass them.

11 Januari

Sebelas Januari Bertemu
Menjalani Kisah Cinta Ini
Naluri Berkata Engkaulah Milikku
Bahagia Selalu Dimiliki
Bertahun Menjalani Bersamamu
Kunyatakan bahwa Engkaulah jiwaku

Akulah Penjagamu
Akulah Pelindungmu
Akulah Pendampingmu
Di setiap langkah-langkahmu

Pernahku Menyakiti Hatimu
Pernah kau melupakan janji ini
Semua Karena kita ini manusia

Akulah Penjagamu
Akulah Pelindungmu
Akulah Pendampingmu
Di setiap langkah-langkahmu

[Chorus:]
Kau bawa diriku
Kedalam hidupmu
Kau basuh diriku
Dengan rasa sayang
Senyummu juga sedihmu adalah Hidupku
Kau sentuh cintaku dengan lembut
Dengan sejuta warna

Have You Ever?

have you ever...

been approached and told that you're pretty/handsome?
been loved unconditionally despite all?
been sick to the point you just felt like dying?
been held so tight, you just didn't wanna let go?

i have.

have you ever....

told someone that you love him/her?
have the feeling that you can't express your love?
hug a person for so long that it seems forever?
felt that you've known someone from your previous life?

i have.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

loving you may seem to be the hardest thing to do.
for the fact that you are not what i've been looking for.

yes, you are handsome.
yes, you're tall.
and yes, you are dark.

but no, you are not my dream guy.

so what made me get hooked to you?
despite all your past and your present.

its because i've truly learned.

that love doesn't count on being tall.
love doesn't count on being dark.
and love doesn't count on being handsome.

to love, is to be able to share the joy with you.
to be able to cry with you.
and to be able to be with you.

love, to me, is seeing past through your features.
love is a feeling that can't be described.
love is a moment where happiness and sadness can happen at once.

to love you is a mixed feeling of accomplishment and astonishment.
loving you is the most wonderful thing that has happened to me.
loving you make me feel good.
to be loved by you make me feel special.

to you, i say "i love you".
3 words that i don't have the gut to say out loud.
3 words that make me so unsure of a situation.

but to you, i am comfident.
i am sure.
i am brave to say.

"i love you, norzaidi"

may our love last forever and blessed with the good things in life.

come 25th February 2009 0000hrs,
we will be a year older than last year.

oh dear beloved, i love you to the very end.

Life - as it is.

the unfairness of the world creeps up on me.

"life, is never fair", or so they say.
so why, may i ask.
why is life never fair?
unfair to childrens, teenagers, adults and elderly.

life is unfair.

-watching halim serving the customer makes me laugh-

so, back to my whining.

LIFE, is never fair.
so lets play dirty and roll in the dirt.

i don't know why, but it keeps on bugging me.


while we are supposed to slack, they are the ones slacking.
while they are supposed to be stress, we are the one stressing.

oh, please.
the world is going upside down.

life is not worth living if you have no motivation.
life is not worth living if you're constantly brought down.
life is not worth living if you're not happy.
and life is not worth living if you don't have anyone to love.

all this while, we've been living off LOVE.

thank you all.

(thank you)

that's the link for my dear beloved HB to read.

tomorrow is the day that my X-Ray test is gonna come out.
*shrugs*
scary sehh.
haha

Potter's movie gonna come out soon!
yay!

to aidil:

"please call Zaidi. cos he have a plan.
a plan only you and him would be able to carry out.
a plan that allow us to spend precious time together.
a plan to go out without spending too much.
oh, aidil friend, please give Zaidi a call."

Poly-Ohh!

damn crap mann.
haha.

supposed to be at Jurong Polyclinic now.
but...
my mom said to go just for the after lunch registration.

been sick this past months.
but hell,
not sickly sick.

just sick enough to get outta of school and land myself in a gigantous amount of appointments!

i'm pretty much sure ya'll gonna like that.
skip school, or work and stuff.

but trust me, hunny bunnies.

it's a waste of time and money!

and so anyway..

i've got like this medicine to take from yesterday's check-up.
"Doxycycline"

sorta a kind of antibiotics that the doctors gave me yesterday.

had to eat that twice per day for 2 weeks!

*i had that yesteryear, baybay.*

so, with all due respect to my phobia of eating pills,
i think i'm gonna be fine this time round, hopefully.

no one ever knows.

my throat has a way to open and close itself up.

weird, but true...

so while waiting for time to come, to proceed to the polyclinic,
this is what i allow myself to do.

so anyway, i hafta take my Doxycycline now.
if not, dear beloved would kill me.

Oh Why...

why, why must there be wars?
why is the Israel attacking Palestins?

why must all these happen?

why am i selected to be the class rep,
especially when i know i'm going to be packed with appoinments?

oh, why.

and no, i don't think i'm going to do well for this semester.
no, i'm not.

cool shit ehh.

i'm currently watching CSI.
and the way they collect fingerprints on the mass.
damn cool lurhh.

lols.

i think, i need all the luck for this year.

2008 might be a hard year for me,
but i'm pretty sure 2009 wil be harder.

please be the one to push me, baby. i'm depending on you.

The Very First Day.

i love you,
i've always do.

you give me hope
and you've given me strength.

norzaidi, i love you no matter what, okay?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yes, it's school already.
its helluva day!
doing nothing but talking and catching up.
swell.

raining and cold.
*brrr*
hahas.
but was used to it darlinkks.

so no worries. :)

and so anyway, lots of things happened between the days i was gone.
*laughs*
but it was okay.

ouhh..
and i am thinking of quitting ITE.
and joining MDIS.

but i ain't sure yet.

still thinking.
*hmmmm*

i know, it's a waste of time.
but hell, i'm only with a HNITEC cert when i'm 19!
that means, if god willing...

Diploma at 21/22. old sia.

*shrugs*

p.s: if you wanna know more about me, please do visit me LJ and comment. :)

Do I Deserve This - At All?

well, to answer that quetion above: NO!

no, i don't think i deserve this at all.
no, i don't care if she have known him for more than i do.

he cares for you, yes.
he loves you, yes.

but only to a certain point where he regards you as his aunt.

i am whining again, i know.

but this is what i'm subjected to do.
i can't do anything else.
i don't know what else to do.

oh, help me please.

i know you love me.
i know you do.

but let me ask you this question:

are you willing to let her go?

let me end on a last note.

Ruby, please stop being a bitch. i hate you. period.

ouhhkk.

fine, i'm an outsider.
who gives a fuck right.

i'm just plain speechless now.
not that i've never met you guys or anything.
but i did, didn't i?

and we did went out, didn't we?

and yet, i'm still the outsider.
oh, joy.

and to you, whatever your name is.
you don't know me.
ouhk. hell to knowing me.

let's make it simpler.
you haven't meet me.
so, just shut your trap.

"fuck, i came to your performance when i was free. i came to your sessions when i was free. i made friends with everyone. and i even tegur them on the street. celebrated halloween with you guys. AND I'M AN OUTSIDER!"

was what i told dear beloved.

yes, i'm mad.
disappointed too, you know.

but like everyone says, these small things are not remembered by, let's say... people who call others 'losers'?

what do you think?

finally?

hahas. i'm finally here aren't i?
not much though, but still.
its something.

well, fyi.
its still under construction now.

zzzzzzzzzz