coming to the end of March

WEE!

but first things first.

happy birthday to my friends, shikin(17), khaleed&dahnial(16).

and March, by far the worst month of this new year. but i'm hopeful for the better. hees. i'm pretty much sure come April things will at least be a wee bit different. hopefully. missing my baby and hunny right now. can't wait to meet them soon!

i've got nothing much to blog about right now except for Desaru Getaway was a pretty much needed escape route for me and last Saturday was sucha turn-off! can't wait to get down and dirtayy at the beach soon, since the weather is looking pretty good.

other than that i think i had enough of rebelling for now. and its time for me to tone down abit until my big day comes! YAY! but i'm not really looking forward to it as i've got no concrete plan on what to do and who to spend it with except for my girls.

my LJ is taking prettayy long to upload a picture! *sighs* need to get more food in my body. need to be happy for me. i'm now living off my needs, wants and demands. ohkayy, i better go shower and get my long awaited rest now.

my [advanced] 18th wishlist! - updated!

okay. and so my birthday is coming up REALLY soon. EGG-CITED!

1. i really want baileys and coke!
2. i want my loved ones with me for my birthday!
3. i want an external hard drive baby.
4. DRESSES!!!
5. HEELS!!
6. M.A.C make up kit honeys.
7. i want wonderful pictures to be taken (its a must!)

the top is my then birthday wishlist.
but things happen and i don't really ask for much on my birthday.
i just want those who i love with me, to celebrate my 18th birthday.
certain people like fid and prav. and HYM. yeah, you.
but no worries.
i think for this birthday, my biggest and most meaningful, most loved present will be priceless.
and its not bought.
i already know what is it because i've been told.
and i'll cherish every second i have with my present.

i know, i'm getting emotional here.
but thats because i miss everything.
EVERYTHING!

alasanmu

Ikhlasnya hati sering kali disalah erti
Tulusnya budi tidak pernah engkau hargai
Berlalu pergi dengan kelukaan ini
Ku mengalah,ku bersabar

Bertentang mata seolah olah tiada apa
Berpaling muka ada saja yang tidak kena
Mencari sebab serta alasan yang kukuh
Supaya tercapai hajatmu

Manis di bibir memutar kata
Malah kau tuduh akulah segala penyebabnya
Siapa terlena pastinya terpukau
Pujukmu,rayumu,suaramu yang menagih simpati dan harapan

Engkau pastinya tersenyum dengan pengunduran diriku
Tetapi bagiku pula suatu ketenangan
Andainya kita terus bersama belum tentu kita bahagia
Selagi tidak kau ubah cara hidupmu

Ada rahmatnya bila tidak lagi bersama
Terasa jauh diriku ini dengan dosa
Ku tinggalmu walau tanpa kerelaan yang nyata
Kau tidak berubah

Bertentang mata seolah olah tiada apa
Berpaling muka ada saja yang tidak kena
Mencari sebab serta alasan yang kukuh
Supaya tercapai hajatmu

Manis di bibir memutar kata
Malah kau tuduh akulah segala penyebabnya
Siapa terlena pastinya terpukau
Pujukmu,rayumu,suaramu yang menagih simpati dan harapan

Engkau pastinya tersenyum dengan pengunduran diriku
Tetapi bagiku pula suatu ketenangan
Andainya kita terus bersama belum tentu kita bahagia
Selagi tidak kau ubah cara hidupmu

Katalah apa yang kau ingin
Selagi kau dapat berkata
Memang begitu sikapmu semenjak dahulu
Andainya kita terus bersama belum tentu kita bahagia
Selagi tidak kau ubah cara hidupmu

numb.

i'm just so numb i don't know what to feel anymore.
i'm happy when i'm with you.
but at the same time when i'm all alone, nothing ever feels right.
not now, not ever.
not until i get things straight and get all the answers that i want.
not until i know what is actually going on in your head, and in your heart.
not until this heart of mine is free of the pain that it aches so much i feel like dying.
not until i get you back in my life, loving you like before.

because baby, i still love you and i don't want to let you go.